Alternative Accountant Definition

An accountant is a person who :

• displays deviant behaviour when it comes to numbers

• can do tricky sums

• experiences an inner peace in the knowledge that debits should always equal credits

• knows the inner thrill of viewing a well structured Chart of Accounts

• gasps at the majestic splendour of a Trial Balance

• marvels at non-accounting colleagues who guiltlessly work from home or leave early on a Friday
• always seems to miss a trick when it comes to claiming expenses or receiving above-inflation pay rises

• has made a lifetime vow never to take a holiday at month end

• spends more evenings with the office cleaner than with their partner

• sorts out all the mess

• reports to anybody who may be interested on where it all went so horribly wrong ...and...

• solves a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand, at a price you can't afford!