"Know any funny, short and original accountant jokes? I'm taking the finance department out for their annual, low-spend jolly and need to lighten things up but don't want to trot out the same old work jokes as last year."
Rex Einoff, CFO
Our Solution....
We're pooling our it-has-to-be-said pitiful resources with those of an infamous market research agency and compiling a library of the best, rare and original accountant, audit and tax jokes.
We hope you enjoy them. Remember: the library is being added to nearly all the time - so keep visiting!
Joke 1: Did you hear about the cannibal CPA? She charges an arm and a leg.
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Joke 2: How did the blonde CFO die? Using Powerpoint.
Joke 3: Did you hear about the blonde Management Accountant? She went to see her fitness trainer to talk about stretch targets.
Joke 4: Why did the Irish bookkeeper go bust? A library opened next door.
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Joke 5: Did you hear about the fraudulent Irish Finance Director? He burnt his office down trying to cook the books.
Joke 6: Did you hear about the deviant Forensic Accountant? He got his client's charges reduced from gross indecency to net indecency.
Joke 7: What do you call a Group Financial Controller who's lost his job? Bob.
Joke 8: Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No. Me neither.
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Accountant and CPA Exams
Joke 1: What is the 1 Golden Rule for passing CPA / Accountant exams? Always leave yourself enough time to
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Accountant Behaviour
Joke 1: Which clients do short accountants like best? Small businessmen.
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Joke 2: What disease kills more accountants than any other? TB.
Joke 3: Do you find accounting standards attractive? ? We do!
Joke 4: What do you call an accountant who can't account? An ant.
Joke 5: What do you call an accountant who can't count? An acant.
Joke 6: What do cannibal accountants do at their Office Christmas Dinner? Toast their clients.
Joke 7: Receptionist: "There's an invisible client in reception". Accountant: "Tell them I'm sorry but I can't see them today."
Joke 8: Patient: "Hello, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Goodbye." 30 seconds later... "Hello again, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me." Doctor: "Mmm. Sounds like a serious case of double entry."
Joke 9: The are just 2 rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 1. Don't tell them everything you know.
Joke 10: What does an accountant do to liven up an office party? Not show up.
Joke 11: "Doctor, doctor, I've taken the medicine you prescribed but it's not working. What should I do?" "Try using your calculator." "How will that help?" "I'm not sure, but it's something you can count on".
Joke 12: What do you call a Financial Controller who always works through lunch, takes 2 days holiday every 2 years, is in the office every weekend and leaves every night after 10pm? Work shy and a skiver.
Joke 13: How do you know when an accountant's having a mid-life crisis? He gets a faster calculator.
Joke 14: What happens when you lock a wild hyena and an accountant in a room? The hyena stops laughing.
Joke 2: What do you call a Trial Balance that doesn't balance? A late night.
Joke 3: What do you call an accountant who says he's posted a one-sided journal? A liar!! Under Sarbox rules it just can't happen! Can it??!!
Joke 4: A farmer sends his accounting sheepdog, Spot, off to gather in his 8 sheep. On returning the farmer is astonished to find he now has 10 animals in his pen and asks the dog to explain. "Woof! You asked me to round them up, woof", barks Spot.
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