An Alternative Accountant Mission Statement

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Our mission is simple:


  •     to become an accounting exemplar - a new operating model for the 21st century;

  •     to re-define to a higher level the meaning of ‘paradigm’;

  •     to seamlessly evolve into the very essence of managerial and custodial excellence thereby protecting the interests of all stakeholders for the new millennium;

  •     to make the alternative accountant standard THE standard to which all accountants across the world will aspire

  •     to burn as the brightest of beancounting beacons - a guru of gross margins!....a luminator of ledgers!!....a guiding light to both accounting man and bookkeeping beast!!!!


Our mission will be accomplished by pursuing a strategy of:

  • crisis management! - lurching randomly from one predictable near-calamity to another;

  •     upgrading! to donuts and bacon rolls in the Friday morning Senior Finance Team meeting;

  •     wishing! we hadn’t undertaken that ruddy ‘Your Say’ staff feedback initiative;

  •     outsourcing! anything that moves to India;

  •     recruiting! a 500-strong ‘lean six sigma’ team;

  •     moving forward! until we can move forward no more.

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