Alternative and Infamous
Accountant Quotes and Sayings

So here at the alternative accountant we thought - with nothing better to do - we'd try and capture some of these would-be pearls of wit and wisdom for accounting posterity!

See also: Accounting Quotes.

“When are those jobsworths in Purchasing going to start doing their jobs properly and enter Purchase Orders correctly on the system?!”

John T, Management Accountant

“When are those shirkers in IT going to sort this sodding system out?”

John T, Management Accountant

“If you think I'm coming in to work the weekend because of all those work-shys in Accounts Payable then you can think again!”

John T, Management Accountant

“Does anybody know how to change the ruddy toner cartridge in this poxy printer?”

Steve M, Assistant Financial Controller

“Now the sodding copier's jammed. Anybody know how to unjam it?”

Steve M, Assistant Financial Controller

“New process? Whatever it is, it's not going to work. ”

Dismal Dave, Accounts Payable Manager

“They tried that one last time. It didn't work”

Dismal Dave, Accounts Payable Manager

“Or that.”

Dismal Dave, Accounts Payable Manager

“Aaagh! How many times do I have to tell those clodhopping cretins in marketing not to code Purchase Orders to that account!”

John T, Management Accountant

“Goodnight. Have a nice weekend. Please could you turn the lights off when you go.”

Office cleaner, Financial Controller's Office

“You still here? Good night. Have a nice weekend. Don't forget to set the alarm.”

Night security guard, Financial Controller's Office

“Anybody seen last month's Journal file? I bet those jobsworth auditors have still got it.”

John T, Management Accountant

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Month end, Financial Controller's Office

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Year end, Financial Controller's Office