Joke: What is an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand at a price you can't afford.
Joke: What is the definition of an introverted accountant? Someone who stares at their shoes when talking to you.
Joke: What is the definition of an extroverted accountant? Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Joke: There are 3 types of accountant Those who can count and those who can't.
Joke: What's a shy and retiring accountant? One that's half-a-million shy and that's why he's retiring.
Joke: Did you hear about the constipated CFO? He couldn't budget with his calculator so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.
Joke: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.
Joke: What do you call an accountant without a calculator? Lonely.
2. Accountant Behaviour
Joke: What do accountants do to liven up their office party ? Invite a Funeral Director.
Joke: How was copper wire invented? 2 accountants were arguing over a penny.
Joke: How does an accountant trash his/her hotel room? By refusing to fill in the Guest Comment Card.
Joke: Why do accountants get excited at the weekends? Because they can wear causal clothes to work.
Joke: How do accountants make a bold fashion statement? Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Joke: What does an accountant's husband ask his wife when he can't get to sleep? "Tell me about your day, dear."
Joke: A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
"Oh my God!" said the woman. "What shall I do?"
"Marry an accountant," suggested the doctor.
"Why?" asked the woman. "Will that make me live longer?"
"No," replied the doctor. "But it will SEEM longer."
Joke: An accountant was having difficulty trying to sleep and went to the dcotor.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" asked the doctor.
"That's the problem," replied the accountant. "I make a mistake and then spend 6 hours trying to find it".
3. Accountants and Other Professions
Joke: What's an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.
Joke: How do actuaries spice up their office parties? They invite an accountant.
Joke: What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner? Someone who arrives after the battle, bayonets all the wounded, pawns their possessions and charges their time to the relatives.