International Funny Reporting Standards
IFRS 1: 20 Old Accounting Jokes
"Father! Father! Do tell us some olde accounting jokes while we post journals this cold, dark month end night."
Tiny Tim, A Christmas Carol (1843)
Help yourself to the jokes below and lighten up a speech or presentation or just to have a laugh and make the working day pass quicker.
Joke 20: What is an accountant?
Joke 19: What is the definition of an introverted accountant?
Joke 18: What is the definition of an extroverted accountant?
Joke 17: There are 3 types of accountant
Joke 16: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
Joke 15: Did you hear about the constipated CFO?
Joke 14: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
Joke 13: What do you call an accountant without a calculator?
Joke 12: What do accountants do to liven up their office party ?
Joke 11: How was copper wire invented?
Joke 10: How does an accountant trash his/her hotel room?
Joke 9: Why do accountants get excited at the weekends?
Joke 8: How do accountants make a bold fashion statement?
Joke 7: What does an accountant's husband ask his wife when he can't get to sleep?
"Tell me about your day, dear."
Joke 6: A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
"Oh my God!" said the woman. "What shall I do?"
"Marry an accountant," suggested the doctor.
"Why?" asked the woman. "Will that make me live longer?"
"No," replied the doctor. "But it will SEEM longer."
Joke 5 : An accountant was having difficulty trying to sleep and went to the dcotor.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" asked the doctor.
"That's the problem," replied the accountant. "I make a mistake and then spend 6 hours trying to find it".
Joke 4: What's an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humour.
Joke 3: How do actuaries spice up their office parties?
They invite an accountant.
Joke 2: What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner?
Someone who arrives after the battle, bayonets all the wounded, pawns their possessions and charges their time to the relatives.
Joke 1: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
An accountant riding an elephant.