International Funny Reporting Standards

IFRS 1: 20 Old Accounting Jokes

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"Father! Father! Do tell us some olde accounting jokes while we post journals this cold, dark month end night."

Tiny Tim, A Christmas Carol (1843)

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Help yourself to the jokes below and lighten up a speech or presentation or just to have a laugh and make the working day pass quicker.


Accounting Jokes

Joke 20: What is an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand at a price you can't afford.

Joke 19: What is the definition of an introverted accountant?
Someone who stares at their shoes when talking to you.

Joke 18: What is the definition of an extroverted accountant?
Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.

Joke 17: There are 3 types of accountant
Those who can count and those who can't.

Joke 16: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
One that's half-a-million shy and that's why he's retiring.

Joke 15: Did you hear about the constipated CFO?
He couldn't budget with his calculator so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.

Joke 14: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
Lost.

Joke 13: What do you call an accountant without a calculator?
Lonely.

Joke 12: What do accountants do to liven up their office party ?
Invite a Funeral Director.

Joke 11: How was copper wire invented?
2 accountants were arguing over a penny.

Joke 10: How does an accountant trash his/her hotel room?
By refusing to fill in the Guest Comment Card.

Joke 9: Why do accountants get excited at the weekends?
Because they can wear causal clothes to work.

Joke 8: How do accountants make a bold fashion statement?
Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.


More accounting jokes...

Joke 7: What does an accountant's husband ask his wife when he can't get to sleep?
"Tell me about your day, dear."

Joke 6: A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
"Oh my God!" said the woman. "What shall I do?"
"Marry an accountant," suggested the doctor.
"Why?" asked the woman. "Will that make me live longer?"
"No," replied the doctor. "But it will SEEM longer."


Joke 5 : An accountant was having difficulty trying to sleep and went to the dcotor.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" asked the doctor.
"That's the problem," replied the accountant. "I make a mistake and then spend 6 hours trying to find it".

Joke 4: What's an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humour.

Joke 3: How do actuaries spice up their office parties?
They invite an accountant.

Joke 2: What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner?
Someone who arrives after the battle, bayonets all the wounded, pawns their possessions and charges their time to the relatives.

Joke 1: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
An accountant riding an elephant.


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