Funny Old Accounting Jokes
"Father! Father! Do tell us some olde accounting jokes to cheer us up this cold, dark winter's night."
Tiny Tim, A Christmas Carol (1843)
Help yourself to the jokes below and lighten up a speech or presentation or just to have a laugh and make the working day pass quicker.
Joke: What is an accountant?
Joke: What is the definition of an introverted accountant?
Joke: What is the definition of an extroverted accountant?
Joke: There are 3 types of accountant
Joke: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
Joke: Did you hear about the constipated CFO?
Joke: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
Joke: What do you call an accountant without a calculator?
Joke: What do accountants do to liven up their office party ?
Joke: How was copper wire invented?
Joke: How does an accountant trash his/her hotel room?
Joke: Why do accountants get excited at the weekends?
Joke: How do accountants make a bold fashion statement?
Joke: What does an accountant's husband ask his wife when he can't get to sleep?
"Tell me about your day, dear."
Joke: A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
"Oh my God!" said the woman. "What shall I do?"
"Marry an accountant," suggested the doctor.
"Why?" asked the woman. "Will that make me live longer?"
"No," replied the doctor. "But it will SEEM longer."
Joke: An accountant was having difficulty trying to sleep and went to the dcotor.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" asked the doctor.
"That's the problem," replied the accountant. "I make a mistake and then spend 6 hours trying to find it".
Joke: What's an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humour.
Joke: How do actuaries spice up their office parties?
They invite an accountant.
Joke: What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner?
Someone who arrives after the battle, bayonets all the wounded, pawns their possessions and charges their time to the relatives.
Joke: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
An accountant riding an elephant.