International Funny Reporting Standards
IFRS 4: Funny alternative Accounting Quotes
"I am pleased to announce that our results are very much in line with Plan. All we have to do now is find out what the Plan was."
Rosa Figures, CFO
ACCOUNTANTS' occasional utterances can be potentially profound, almost memorable and even marginally motivational!
Here are some of the more enlightened to give you a lift through the working day.
Quote: "In the beginning God created man...and the costs followed afterwards." - Profound Patricia, Management Accountant
Quote: "Accounting is my life. Stop by some time and I'll tell you why." - Dismal Dave, Accounting Department, 3rd Floor.
Quote: "Only accountants can save the world - through peace, goodwill and reconciliations." - the alternative accountant
Quote: "I'm An Accounting Celebrity!...Leave Me In Here...It's Month End!." - an Accounting Celebrity
Quote: "Month end is approaching - Keep calm and carry on accounting" Traditional.
Quote: "I'm grilling the auditors!" Traditional.
Quote: "A good accountant never makes mistrakes."
Quote: "And who said accountants don't have a sense of humor? - late nights; weekend working; endless reconciliations; no lunch break; month end; year end; dealing with auditors; taking the blame; exams; CPD......" - name and address supplied
Quote: "There are 3 types of accountant - those that can count and those that can't." Ex-employee - The alternative accountant
Quote: "In our opinion there are just 3 types of auditor - those whose opinion you can rely on, and those whose opinion you can't." Ex-auditors.
Quote: "There are 2 rules for running a successful accountancy business:
1. Don't tell them everything you know."
Quote: "10 out of 9 accountants can't count!" The same ex-employee.
Quote: "There was a small typing error in our Half-Year Results Statement. For 'profit' please read 'loss'. " Ex - CFO.