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IAAS 6: Accounting Quotes & Inspirational Sayings

ACCOUNTANTS DON'T TEND TO SPEAK much at the best of times, but when we do our utterances can be potentially profound, almost memorable and at-best marginally motivational!

So here at the alternative accountant we thought we'd try and capture some of these would-be pearls of wit and wisdom for accounting posterity!

Here's a selection of some of the eloquent exclamations and sophisticated sayings we've recorded so far...

Accounting Quotes and Inspirational Sayings
1. Insiprational & Motivational "Only accountants can save the world - through peace and reconciliations." - the alternative accountant "The great thing about working in an accounting department is that everybody counts." - the alternative accountant "Accountants count!"
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2. Profound "I am pleased to say that our results are very much in line with plan. All we have to do now is find out what the plan was." CFO - the alternative accountant "There are 3 types of accountant - those that can count and those that can't." "10 out of 9 accountants can't count". "There are just 3 types of auditor - those whose opinion you can rely on, and those whose opinion you can't." "150% of Management Information is wrong". "There are just 2 rules to building a successful accountancy business and outdoing your rivals. 1. Don't tell them everything you know."
3. Alternative Accounting Quotes “When are those jobsworths in Purchasing going to start doing their jobs properly and enter Purchase Orders correctly on the system?!” John T, Management Accountant “When are those shirkers in IT going to sort this sodding system out?” John T, Management Accountant “If you think I'm coming in to work the weekend because of all those work-shys in Accounts Payable then you can think again!” John T, Management Accountant “Does anybody know how to change the ruddy toner cartridge in this poxy printer?” Steve M, Assistant Financial Controller “Now the sodding copier's jammed. Anybody know how to unjam it?” Steve M, Assistant Financial Controller “New process? Whatever it is, it's not going to work. ” Dismal Dave, Accounts Payable Manager “They tried that one last time. It didn't work” Dismal Dave, Accounts Payable Manager “Or that.” Dismal Dave, Accounts Payable Manager “Aaagh! How many times do I have to tell those clodhopping cretins in marketing not to code Purchase Orders to that account!” John T, Management Accountant “Goodnight. Have a nice weekend. Please could you turn the lights off when you go.” Office cleaner, Financial Controller's Office *“You still here? Good night. Have a nice weekend. Don't forget to set the alarm.”* Night security guard, Financial Controller's Office *“Anybody seen last month's Journal file? I bet those jobsworth auditors have still got it.”* John T, Management Accountant *“.........................................”* Month end, Financial Controller's Office *“...................................................................”* Year end, Financial Controller's Office

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INTERNATIONAL ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTING STANDARDSaccounting quotes

Accounting Quotes and Inspirational Sayings

1. Insiprational & Motivational

2. Profound

3. Alternative Accounting Quotes