auditor auditing and audit jokes

Traditional Jokes

How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?
How many did it take last year?

Why did the auditors cross the road?
Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

What's the worst thing a group of young auditors can do?
Go into town and gang-audit somebody.

Original, Rare and Alternative Jokes

Did you hear about the work shy internal auditor who ran out of sick days so he called in dead??? (3 May)

What did the auditor say at the vampire stocktake??
Count Dracula. (2 May)

What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
An auditor. (24 Apr)

What do you call an auditor who doesn't have an opinion?
I've no idea. (23 Apr)

What do you call an auditor who can't audit?
An or. (24 Apr)

Did you hear about the cannibal Audit practice?
They charge an arm and a leg. (23 Apr)

What do cannibal auditors do after their Office Christmas Dinner ?
Toast their clients. (23 Apr)

What do internal auditors do to liven up the office party?
Not show up.

Why did the auditors cross the road?
Because they had just been to a client to discuss revenue forecasts and were on their way back to the car.

How many internal auditors does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They're not allowed to under Health & Safety legislation. Process notes should have been written to refer them to Facilities.

There are just 3 types of auditors.
Those whose opinion you can rely on, and those whose opinion you can't.

"Doctor, Doctor. Every time I go on an audit I get covered in rashes. What could it be?"
"Ticks."

Did you hear about the Irish auditor?
He turned up on a horse 3 weeks late after getting lost on the Audit Trail.(19 Mar)

What do you get if you cross a ferocious, man-eating tiger with an internal auditor?
A very dull tiger. (27 Mar)