Auditing and Audit Jokes

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"Father! Father! Do tell us one of Mr Scrooge's funny audit jokes to make us merry this cold, dark winter's night. Do!"

Tiny Tim, A Christmas Carol (1843)


Help yourself to the jokes below and lighten up a speech or presentation or just to have a laugh and make the working day pass quicker.


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Audit Jokes

Joke: How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?
How many did it take last year?

Joke: How many internal auditors does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They're not allowed to under Health & Safety legislation. Process notes should have been written referring the incident to Facilities.

Joke: Why did the auditors cross the road?
Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

Joke: What's the worst thing a group of young auditors can do?
Go into town and gang-audit a client.

Joke: Did you hear about the work shy internal auditor who ran out of sick days so he called in dead???

Joke: Which clients do short auditors like best?
Small businessmen.

Joke: What did the auditor say at the vampire stocktake??
Count Dracula.

Joke: Definition of an Auditor:
An accountant with an opinion.

Joke: Definition of an Auditor:
A person who only has opinion when you pay them.

Joke: What do you call an auditor who can't audit?
An or.

Joke: Did you hear about the cannibal Audit practice?
They charge an arm and a leg.

Joke: What do cannibal auditors do after their Office Christmas Dinner ?
Toast their clients.

Joke: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
For buttering up her clients.

Joke: What did the internal auditor do to liven up the office party?
He didn't show up.


More audit jokes...

Joke: "Doctor, Doctor. Every time I go on an audit I get covered in rashes. What could it be?"
"Mmmm. Let me take a look. Aaah. As I suspected. Ticks."

Joke: Did you hear about the Irish auditor?
He turned up at the client's offices on a horse 3 weeks' late after getting lost on the Audit Trail.

Joke: What do you get if you cross a wild, ferocious, man-eating tiger with an internal auditor?
A very dull tiger.

Joke: What does an auditor's wife ask her husband when she can't get to sleep?
"Tell me about your day, dear."

Joke: A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
"Oh my God!" said the woman. "What shall I do?"
"Marry an auditor," suggested the doctor.
"Why?" asked the woman. "Will that make me live longer?"
"No," replied the doctor. "But it will SEEM longer."

Joke: What happens when you lock a wild hyena in a room with an internal auditor?
The hyena stops laughing.


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