Alternative Audit Report
Accounting World Records - World's Worst

AUDIT REPORT 2013

To: the Management, Editorial Team, Random Visitors
xxxxxx.com
The Worldwide Web

We have (reluctantly) audited the home page and related humorous statements, slogans, jokes, quotes and gifts (the "site") of xxxxxx.com for the year ended xxxxxx.

Last year's Suspense analysis arrives at xxxx.com

The site is the responsibility of the website's overworked and underpaid editor and management. Our responsibility is to turn up, tick a few things and express an opinion on the site based on our audit.

We conducted our audit in accordance with admittedly-not-quite generally accepted auditing standards.

Those standards require that we:

turn up once a year
get shoved into that cold, pokey, lightless little room in the basement with no phone, printer or copier, miles away from where all the people we need to speak to work and 12 floors from the nearest decent snacks vending machine
repeatedly jam the client's photocopier
send this year's audit junior off to find the same manager in the same office and ask the same questions and be given the same unfathomable answers as last year's
lose our client's purchase invoices and arch lever files
on the last day get in early only to find the manager who's got all the answers is out sick
are asked to process a whole shed load of material adjustments 1 hour before the audit is supposed to finish
gasp in horror as our originally-seemed-we-could-finish-a-week-early-and-have-a-jolly budget vapourises into thin air
send the same audit junior off again....
loiter in the corridors on our last day on site and bully semi-plausible explanations out of random passers by.