AUDIT REPORT 2017
To: the Management, Editorial Team and Random Visitors of the-alternative-accountant.com and anyone else who may be vaguely interested.
We have (reluctantly) audited the home page and related pages, content, images, jokes, quotes and gifts (the "site") of the-alternative-accountant.com for the year ended 30 June 2017.
The site is the responsibility of the website's overworked and underpaid editor and management.
Our responsibility is to turn up, regularly interrupt the website's overworked and underpaid editor and management, tick a few things and express an opinion on the site based on our audit.
Last year's Sundries analysis arrives at the alternative accountant.
We conducted our audit in accordance with admittedly-not-quite generally accepted auditing standards.
Those standards require that we:
- turn up once a year
- get shoved into that cold, pokey, lightless little room in the basement with no phone, printer or copier, miles away from where all the people we need to speak to work and 12 floors from the nearest decent snacks vending machine
- repeatedly jam the client's photocopier
- send this year's audit junior off to find the same manager in the same office and ask the same questions and be given the same unfathomable answers as last year's
- lose our client's purchase invoices and arch lever files
- on the last day get in early only to find the manager who's got all the answers is out sick
- are asked to process a whole shed load of material adjustments 1 hour before the audit is supposed to finish
- gasp in horror as our originally-seemed-we-could-finish-a-week-early-and-have-a-jolly budget vapourises into thin air
- send the same audit junior off again....
- loiter in the corridors on our last day on site and bully semi-plausible explanations out of random passers by.
We believe that - given the above - our audit provides a reasonable basis for our opinion.
Is that a problem?!
In our opinion the site referred to above is funnier than IFRS 8 - Operating Segments - as of 30 June 2017.
Tickett, Fileit and Billett
Certified and Sectioned Auditors and Accountants
Ye Olde Calculator Cottage