9 Retirement Quotes, Sayings and Jokes
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RETIREMENT SPEECHES are never easy, but a bit of age-related humour certainly makes them more memorable.
Help yourself to some of the quotes and jokes below and make it a retirement occasion to remember - for all the right reasons!
"Remember: when you're over the hill you pick up speed..."
Top 10: 10 Retirement Highlights to look forward to:
1. elasticated pants
2. stair lifts
3. reclining chairs
4. selective hearing
5. operations conversations
6. grumpy observations
7. medical stockpiles
8. independence aids
9. honeydo lists
10. discounted lunches
Quote 6: "Depreciation at 50; dilapidation at 60; permanent impairment at 70."
Quote 5: "Remember: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."
Quote 4: "Remember: when you're over the hill you pick up speed."
Quote 3: "Statistics show that birthdays are good for you: - those who have the most tend to live the longest."
Quote 2: “Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.”
Quote 1: “In your retirement never be afraid to try somethimg new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”
Joke 2: What did the accountant do to liven up her retirement party? Not show up.
Joke 1: What music do they play at an Accountant's retirement party? The Last Post.
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