Alternative Stress Management Techniques
For Accountants Auditors CPAs CFOs and Finance Managers

To prevent these double-entry debacles from happening to you, the team here at the alternative accountant has partnered with a suspect stress management consultancy and developed 10 top-of-the-range stress management techniques.

Work through them and experiment at the earliest opportunity. Go on, do it now before it's too late, and you find yourself hurling through the Board Room window locked in battle with that annoying woman from Management Accounts!

10 Simple Stress Management Techniques

1. Sing and smile. Stand up on your desk, grit your teeth and recount all the old favourites – 'My Way', Songs from the Shows, ‘Bob the Builder’, even some relief-giving accounting songs . Maybe your counting colleagues will join in. Maybe not.

2. Laugh. Young children laugh 450 times a day. Adults 15 times. Accountants once (provided, of course, it's not month end when work takes priority). Next time an accounting co-worker cracks a corker stand up and give it all you’ve got. That's it, REALLY let it go. See if you can make your gaping guffaw last for a count of 20.

3. Exercise. Get that heart pumping. Up you get. Cart-wheel down to the photocopier. Do 5 star-jumps and sprint back.

4. Let it all out. Take the lift up 3 floors to IT, walk to the desk 3 rows in on the left. That’s the one. Now, go on. Let ‘em ‘ave it. Crikey! Steady on!!

5. Whistle. Choose 10 British birds and get your finance colleagues to guess their names.

6. Destroy something. Go to the Staff Noticeboard and tear down that "In It to Win It' Corporate Initiative poster. Feel better?

7. Eat. Go on, a few more pies won’t matter. Barge your way to the front of the vending machine queue. Select 23, 34, 36 and 55. No, don’t wait to get back to your desk. Stuff it in now ! Yum.

8. Drink. Quick. Cubicle 3 in the toilets is free. Half a bottle of vodka should tide you over. There. Failing that how about a nice cup of tea ?

9. Smoke. You know you’re itching to. Slip off down to the fake bus shelter and squeeze your beak around a whole packet. Aaaahh...

10. Sex. See you behind the stationery cupboard in 5 minutes

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