27 Funny Tax Jokes
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Here at the alternative accountant we write our own original tax jokes.
Help yourself to any from the list of new and old below and lighten up a speech, meeting or presentation or just have a laugh and make the working day pass quicker.
"My Lord!! Thy tax jokes are a most merrie diversion!"
Antonio in Julius Caesar (1599)
> Tax Puns
Joke 27: What's the most famous Tax Return of all time?
The Return of the Jedi. (the aa)
Joke 26: Have you heard about the new tax on the religious?
It's collected via PAYE - Pray As You Earn (the aa)
Joke 25: What's the most tax efficient way to kill yourself?
Jump under a bus. You can claim rollover relief and at a flat rate (the aa)
Joke 24: Where do Tax Inspectors go to get away from irate taxpayers?
A Tax Shelter. (the aa)
Joke 23: Why do bald men pay less tax?
They can claim a Hair Loss. (the aa)
Joke 22: Have you heard about the new way of taxing DIY'ers?
Shelf-Assessment. (the aa)
Joke 22: What is E.T.'s tax status?
Non-Resident Alien. (the aa)
Joke 21: Have you heard about the new sales tax on sugar and junk food ?
It's called F.A.T - Fat Added Tax. (the aa)
Joke 20: Why are obese fortune tellers up in arms?
Because of a new tax on gross prophets. (the aa)
Joke 19: How do Santa's Helpers pay their tax?
Through Elf Assessment. (the aa)
Joke 18: Which clients do short tax accountants like best?
Joke 17: Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
Joke 16: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
For buttering up her clients.
Joke 15: A man goes to the doctor. "Doctor, that medicine you gave me isn't working. Is there anything else I could try?".
Joke 14: What's the difference between a dead rat and a dead tax inspector found on the road?
Joke 13: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant?
Joke 12: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant?
He's had a loophole named after him.
Joke 11: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
Joke 10: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
Joke 9: Why does Father Christmas not live in the United States?
Joke 8: What did the Tax Accountant do to liven up the office party
Joke 7: What 's the most tax efficient way of buying an expensive, pedigree dog?
Sale and Leashback. (the aa)
Joke 6: Did you hear about the deviant tax accountant?
She got her client's charges reduced from gross indecency to net indecency. (the aa)
Joke 5: There are 3 types of tax accountant
Those who can count and those who can't.
Joke 4: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement?
Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Joke 3: A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front.
Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks.
"I had to serve or I'd have run over those and blown my tyres!" protested the driver.
"Ok", replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in."
"What for?!" retorted the man.
"Tacks evasion", answered the policeman.
Joke 2: Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart.
"What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily.
"It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one.
"He's only got 2 days to live."
"He had to be told." said the second doctor.
"I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
Joke 1: What's the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
About 20 years.
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