Funny Tax Jokes
"My Lord!! Thy tax jokes are a most merrie diversion!"
Antonio in Julius Caesar (1599)
Help yourself to the tax jokes below and lighten up a speech or presentation or just to have a laugh and make the working day pass quicker.
Joke: Which clients do short tax accountants like best?
Joke: Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
She charges an arm and a leg.
Joke: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner?
Toast their clients.
Joke: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
For buttering up her clients.
Joke: A man goes to the doctor. "Doctor, that medicine you gave me isn't working. Is there anything else I could try?".
"Fill out this tax form," suggests the doctor.
"How's that going to help me?", asks the man.
"I'm not sure," replies the doctor, "but some of my patients say it gives them relief."
Joke: What's the difference between a dead rat and a dead tax inspector found on the road?
There are skid marks by the rat.
Joke: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant?
The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
Joke: If a tax man and a lawyer were both drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
Joke: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant?
He's had a loophole named after him.
Joke: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
Joke: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
He can claim Gift Relief.
Joke: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA?
So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Joke: What did the Tax Accountant do to liven up the office party
Not show up.
Joke: What is the definition of an introverted tax accountant?
Someone who stares at their shoes when talking to you.
Joke: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant?
Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Joke: There are 3 types of tax accountant
Those who can count and those who can't.
Joke: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement?
Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Joke: A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front.
Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks.
"I had to serve or I'd have run over those and blown my tyres!" protested the driver.
"Ok", replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in."
"What for?!" retorted the man.
"Tacks evasion", answered the policeman.
Joke: Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart.
"What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily.
"It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one.
"He's only got 2 days to live."
"He had to be told." said the second doctor.
"I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
Joke: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
A tax accountant riding an elephant.